Feb. 2016

Mom and I

My Mom and I

It has been awhile since I have blogged. My life has sort of changed; it comes to all families eventually.

I am caring for my 86 year old mom. We found out in November when she took a fall that she has intestinal cancer. It is growing into her colon on the right side. Upon her doctor’s suggestion we have put her on Hospice. She chose not to have any surgery or biopsies.

Had she chosen too she may not have made it out of surgery or she would have ended up in a retirement home on a respirator. She did not want that.

Unfortunately she has been slowed down since she broke her back in a fall in 2012. Because of this the doctor did not feel that she was physical enough to undergo the surgery needed.

I was at her house 24/7 for a while but she is now able to do most everything herself. She is not in pain; though she feels a little pain once in a while. I am glad that God is watching over her. No one wants to have someone there all the time. You feel you have lost your freedom.

Hospice gives her bath’s two times a week; the nurse comes in once a week and a social worker is there every two weeks. All making sure she is cared for.

I know the time will come when I will have to be there all the time again and I will be. My mom took care of me and I shall take care of her. She does have short term memory loss; but hey, I have some of that!

Five years ago I went through this with my dad and though I don’t look forward to seeing her suffer I will be there this time also.

They don’t classify stomach cancer like they do other cancers – Stages 1, 2 etc….. we just have to wait and see what will happen. That is concerning to Mom and I; we would like to see if the tumor is growing – if it is attaching to anything else. Hospice says they don’t worry about that. They make the patient comfortable until their time comes.

In the mean time we worry and wait.

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Connie Barnes Taylor
    Feb 06, 2016 @ 07:12:23

    You are both very strong women. Sending Prayers for Your Mom and You. I is wonderful that you two are so close. I know this isn’t easy but you both have God and Prayers from family and friend. Hugs and Prayers to You both.


  2. Jim T White
    Feb 04, 2016 @ 08:17:22

    Sandy, my wife and I have been down the road in regards to taking care of parents who are walking that last mile to heavens gates. In the picture of you and your mom I see the Christian flag. It is great to know that your family are followers of Christ. Lean on Him daily for strength, courage, and hope during this difficult time. Hospice is a blessing and it takes a special type of caregiver to work in that field. My wife Norma took care of my parents until they became so sick it was not possible for her to take care of them. Hospice nurse’s were a blessing in their last days. Not only comforting mom and dad, but gave our family comfort and understanding of the steps of dying and grief for our loved ones.
    My wife changed her career to working in a hospice home because of her experience with the blessing’s hospice gave us. I pray for you and your family.

    With the love of Jesus Christ, Jim and Norma White


    • sjkeathley
      Feb 04, 2016 @ 12:48:47

      Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes we are both Christians; mom will be going to unite with my father, sister and daughter so she is not worried about crossing over.


  3. Marcia Denman
    Feb 03, 2016 @ 15:40:00

    Praying for your mom and all her caregivers. She is very blessed to have you ! I’m sorry you all are having to go through this. Praise God that she is a believer and will be in His presence one day. I can only imagine what that would be like.


  4. Terry Valentine
    Feb 02, 2016 @ 15:55:30

    I am sorry you have to deal with this again. My sister Mary Gwen (bless her heart) did the brunt of the additional care on my mom, dad and stepfather. I did get involved with my dad’s care for awhile before we could get him in a home (his mental state kept him from being at home alone). He lived in rural Lousiana and We shared those long visits there until an opening was found in Wichita. Cancer took both mom and dad. Mom has hospice and her husband and the hospice nurses did most of the care and ultimately she passed, at home, in her own bed and comforted by family. I could not get home in time to be a part of her departure. My dad passed on Christmas Eve and the home couldn’t get hold of my sister as she was at a gift exchange at my mom’s house. They called me and ultimately was the one to notify those in Wichita of his passing. There was a heavy blizzard that Christmas (1995) so I had a very hard time traversing I-35 from Texas to Wichita. Roads were actually closed but I went anyway and did make it in time for his funeral. My step-father had congestive heart failure and after my mom passed he lost his desire/will to live, he had them turn off his defibrillator/pacemaker and died within a couple of weeks. He also was at home living with hospice before passing. They provide such a great service for those families dealing with slow closure. One caution is that often the patient feels indebted to the hospice providers and showers them with large tips. Dementia plays a part in that and most hospice providers turn down the tips. Some do not. My thoughts are with you as you travel this road leading your mom to your dad! Keep the Faith


    • sjkeathley
      Feb 04, 2016 @ 12:47:25

      Thank you so much Terry. Life throws us lemons and we have to catch them and do what we can. We are both Christians so we know where we are going. That makes it all easier.


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