Back to the Beginning

Just a short update on our snow in Wichita – we have beaten the all-time record for a February snow from back in 1913. We have had 21 inches of snow in 5 days. I believe that will be enough for now….

2-26-2013 snow

Let me start at the beginning and let you know how we met:

Bob and I met at a club – the Bunny Club on south Broadway, in fact. A friend of mine had asked my mom if I could go to the show with her, instead of the show she took me to the club. I had never been in a club before in all my 18 years! (I thought I was all grown up at 18 you know? I think we all did.)

Psalm 119:9 (NIV)

“How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.”

In my defense let me say that I was about as green as they came; naïve was my middle name. I had no idea how much of a sheltered life I had lived. Worldly things were not something I was familiar with at all. I had liked several guys but had only really gone out with two and the last one – we were engaged – sort of. I had a promise ring until he could get an engagement ring. To say I was out of my element would be an understatement; our church did not believe in drinking or dancing, we were discouraged from listening to rock & roll music, girls couldn’t even wear jeans!

Matthew 26:41 (NIV)

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

My friend and I entered the bar (I was scared to death); it was dark, the walls were dark paneling, neon lights with names of beers lined the walls; it smelled like smoke and beer. The music was extremely loud; they had a live band playing (I liked that). It was hard to see through the smoke to even find a table. We found one and ordered a coke. Letting our eyes adjust to the lighting we could see a lot of guys and it wasn’t long before two came to our table and we started talking to them.

They were in the Air Force stationed at McConnell AFB, I felt flattered that they would even talk to me. One of them was Bob; his friend was Mike, they were nice and we had a good time visiting and dancing. Truthfully I enjoyed dancing with Mike (Bob will admit he is not a dancer), my friend had her eye on Bob and I had mine on Mike, funny how things turn out. I didn’t know that guys already had picked out who they wanted to be with before they even talk to you.

I went back the next week and took a different friend from church with me. Mike liked her but could really see how naïve she was. They joked and laughed all evening. Before we left, I gave Bob my phone number; I never expected to hear from him.

Colossians 3:20 (NIV)

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

Believe it or not he called and asked me out, which opened up a big can of worms. Mom had no idea where I was going or that I had even met someone. When she found out she did not want me to go out with him.

I forgot to mention we weren’t really supposed to date outside the church either. I loved all the guys in our church – like brothers! I mean it never dawned on me I was to actually DATE one of them. I found out later that they got upset that some of the girls were actually dating outside the church group. See – naïve! To make matters worse with my mom, he was late for our first date! His pants looked like he was to wade in water they were so short… but to me he was cute.

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

Long story short we met the end of November 1968 and were married March 13, 1969. I fought with my mom the whole time; she didn’t want me to marry Bob. He was a sinner – and the bible says “do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”  I had no idea how true that was and what kinds of problems I was bringing on myself and into our relationship by doing it. Yet, I wanted out of the church and away from my mom and this was the only way I could do it.

The guy I had been dating and was promised to was devastated; I guess I didn’t love him as it didn’t even bother me. (A little cold hearted, yeah.) Yet, I really thought I loved Bob; I didn’t even know what love was at 18 years old. Did you? I mean really? I look back at it now and wonder what was I thinking – it had to be hormones!

Oh, one small element of interest; Bob had a Triumph and rode with some guys in the city. He had his “colors”, which is a vest with patches sewn on it. His nickname was “Crabs”.  Once our pastor found out that he was in a “gang” he didn’t want to marry us. The pastor also thought Bob had been married before; I don’t know where he got that idea.

After we met and talked with the pastor he finally agreed to marry us. Although I could tell he really didn’t want too; he was like my grandfather, after all I had been in his church for 10 years at that time. He loved me and was very protective of me. I loved him very much also and truly wanted only him to marry us, in my church.

Dad and I (My dad and I before the wedding)

Our wedding was small; we had sent out the invitations and I had my beautiful dress which I had picked out at Macy’s. Then Bob and I had a fight just shortly before the wedding. In fact, we broke up. If I remember it was over his car – he thought I had broken something on it when he had left it with me while he was gone on a TDY for the service. (To this day he still says I did it.) I should have known then that “cars” were going to be a really big part of our married life.

We made up and were still married on the same date – my mom was still upset and the only reason she even came to my wedding was because my father’s parents came. If they had not, she told me she would not attend. My sister and my aunt gave us a nice reception (or I wouldn’t have had one). I didn’t wear the “princess dress” that I had picked out, instead I wore the dress I had made and graduated in.

To the chagrin of all in attendance Bob’s motorcycle “gang” invaded or reception; they were going to kidnap him but had gone to the wrong church first; by the time they got to ours we were in the reception. Our pastor opened the door when he heard all the roar of bikes and as they approached the door he said in his deep fatherly voice: “Now boys, you are going to be on your best behavior if I allow you in, right?”  Then he looked at Bob and I – Bob didn’t even know some of them, but we allowed them in. They didn’t stay long. The looks on everyone’s face in attendance was priceless!

Reception The happy couple at the reception

to be continued…. The beginning of trouble in our marriage

Complete Happiness

snow in kansas - fox

Wichita has seen its share of snow – Thursday and Friday we received 14.2 inches. Now tomorrow and Tuesday we may get the same amount – again. This little fox (in the photo) seen by someone in the snow is going to have a hard time finding food, I am sure he does not like this snow.

My dogs don’t know what to do without getting to run around our big back yard for exercise. Nicky even got “stuck” in the snow last night. She was able to walk ON TOP for a few yards than she hit a soft spot and sunk up to her belly. She sat paralyzed not knowing how to go get back to a safe place. It took her a good 10 minutes to figure out she could get to the deck then go under it to the stairs. Really it was funny to me, but she was devastated; after getting dried off and much love – only a cookie got her spirits back up.

As humans we sometimes sink into the snow of our lives and don’t know how to get back up. We look around us and it seems everyone else has “everything” but we are lacking in so much. If only we had a new car; or a new house – yet if you looked at that “someone else” you would find they may not be happy either. They too are looking for that “something” to bring complete happiness.

I have been there – wondering where the “happiness” is and how to get it. Through much soul-searching – for myself I have found the only true happiness is when I am at a good place with Christ.

I can hear it now – oh goodness, now she is going to get “preachy”. I can only speak for myself. I am going to share with you things about myself and my life experiences. I hope in doing so it might help someone else to know they are not alone.

Ecclesiastes 2:26
“To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

As a youth of 8 years old my whole world changed – my mother started going to church. My life was never the same after that. I accepted Christ into my heart as a very young child. Yet, as a teenager I begin to question those “truths” that were taught to me (I started chasing after the wind). I fought tooth and nail to get away from it. I wanted to be ME with no one telling me what to do. I wanted to search for my own way in life. Does that sound familiar? Just about every one of us has done that to some degree.

Hebrews 13:5
“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “I will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

In my teenage and early twenties I did stray away from my belief in God, yet I always knew he was near. I never told him to “go away”, I just needed space. God gives us that “free will” and will never force us to serve him. In fact, it hurts him deeply to watch as we let go of his hand and walk; without him. Even though I stopped going to church; stopped praying; stopped reading the bible; He spoke to me many times and in many different situations; there was no question that it was him. (I will cover some of these as we go along.)

In my high school years I didn’t like that the teachings of my church did not allow things that I see no problem with. I couldn’t find the same answers they seem to find in the Bible. My questions of why were met with “because that is what is right”; they were not allowing me to have questions nor giving me answers. I have always been known as a “little stubborn”; I had to search for myself “why” what I was being taught was right or if it was not. I had to rely on me. ME got me in a lot of trouble.

The first few years of my married life a lot of things happened to me making me question what was real and what was not. Having grown up with a father who watched over me and protected me; I found my husband was unable to do the same. He had many problems of his own to deal with. His problems became my problems because I allowed them too. I lost my self-worth; my respect for him; I was angry that my life wasn’t what it was supposed to be (in my mind). I did not know how to “fix” it.

to be continued —-

New direction of my blog

I am going to start my blog over again.

Why do you say? Because I want it to be a new account of topics and things I want to discuss with you my followers.

So I would like to ask that you follow my blog, please. There is a button called “follow”, please press it. Thanks.

I would like a blog where I can tell you things of interest to both myself and of which you may be interested. It won’t be a blog of disagreements of who is right or who is wrong, it will be a blog of truths as I see them.

I will discuss things that have happened to me, my family and friends. No harm is meant but will be used to teach and help others from human experiences. Sometimes names will be changed to protect the person involved. I hope you chose to follow along and feel free to comment.

I would like for it to be kept G for General; no pointing fingers but a review and understanding. Understanding what I and others have been through.

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